Purrfect Obsession

Both Dooley and I gathered around Odelia, and I watched in horror as a trickle of blood seeped from her temple.

“Is she dead?” asked Dooley in a choked voice.

“I don’t know! What do we do?”

“We have to wake her up,” said Dooley. “Make sure she stays awake. If she closes her eyes, she’s a goner.”

“Her eyes are closed already!” Nevertheless, I pawed her face. “Odelia, wake up,” I said urgently. “Odelia! Can you hear me?!”

Oh, this was bad. This was very, very bad.

I lifted an eyelid, but all I found was a deadish-looking eye staring back at me.

“I think she’s dead,” I said, and stifled a panicky sob.

“We have to do what humans do,” said Dooley. “Call 911.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?!”

We both stared at Odelia’s phone, which was still buzzing away.

‘How hard can it be?” said Dooley. “It’s a touchscreen. So let’s touch it.”

We moved over to the phone and stared at the thing. Then I gathered my courage and flicked it to life. Messages flashed across the screen. I ignored them. Instead, I called up the phone app, then tapped 911 and hit the Connect button.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Now you tell them Odelia may be dead or dying and to get here immediately!”

A woman’s voice intoned, “Nine one one, what’s your emergency?”

I yelled, in case she couldn’t hear me, “You have to come quick. Odelia has bumped her head and she’s not responding! There’s also blood!”

“Sir or ma’am, I can’t hear a thing on account of the fact that your cat is meowing. Please remove your animal and tell me what your emergency is.”

“It’s Odelia!” I tried again. “Send an ambulance! Quick!”

“I have to advise you once again to remove your cat. I can’t hear a thing with all the meowing.”

“Help!” Dooley cried. “Help!”

“I can’t believe this,” the woman said, sounding annoyed, and just hung up!

“I don’t think she understood us,” said Dooley.

“I think you’re right,” I said.

There was only one thing we could do, and that was to get help.

So we both ran from the room and down the stairs, then out through the cat flap and into the backyard. First destination: Marge. She wasn’t home, of course, having gone to the library. So we ran out into the street, on our way to the library. Marge would understand. She would call 911 and tell that silly woman that there was an emergency.

We hadn’t even run a hundred yards when a strange sight greeted our eyes: Uncle Alec, Tex, Marge and Gran all came huffing and puffing around the corner, as if they’d just run a marathon. When they saw us, they all started talking at the same time, and so did Dooley and I.

Finally, I managed to shout, “It’s Odelia! She took a nasty fall and she looks dead!”

That urged them into action, and soon they were galloping towards the house.

“It’s the man in the yellow parka,” Gran huffed as she passed us. “He’s done it again!”

I hadn’t seen any man in a yellow parka. Just Odelia slipping on the rug. But Gran seemed sure of herself, and there was no time to argue, so I kept my mouth shut.

At the house, they all stomped up the stairs, and so did we.

Tex sank down on his knees next to his daughter, pressed his fingers into her neck and quickly said, his voice quaking with emotion, “She’s alive. She’s alive!”

They all laughed with relief, and so did Dooley and I. Funny how your life can change in the blink of an eye, and how a few words can bring you from the depths of despair back to the surface.

“She just had a nasty bump,” Tex said, examining her further. “We need to get her to a hospital, though, just in case. She might have a concussion.”

Soon the humans in the room took control of the situation, an ambulance was called in, and moments later a car screeched to a stop in front of the house, and another heavy body came stomping up the stairs. It was Chase. The moment he saw an inert and pale Odelia, he bellowed, “Odelia, no!”

“She’s fine,” said Tex, putting a hand on the cop’s arm. “She slipped and fell but she’ll be fine. I’ll stake my reputation on it.”

Chase sank down on the floor next to Odelia and took her hand. He now looked as pale as she did, and I wondered why that was. Low blood pressure, maybe. Or blood sugar? Someone should probably have offered him candy. He looked like he was about to faint.

The sound of an ambulance reached my finely tuned ears, and moments later the humans picked up the sound, too, for they all looked very much relieved.

Then Gran turned to me and Dooley. “There’s one thing I need to know from you guys,” she said sternly. “And don’t you dare lie to me.”

I saw how Chase was watching on, a puzzled look on his face.

“Was the man in yellow involved in this ‘accident?’” She used her fingers to make air quotes.

“There was no man in yellow,” I said.

“There was a yellow carpet, though,” said Dooley. “It made Odelia slip and fall.”

Gran narrowed her eyes at us. “You’re sure about that?”

We both nodded.

“Huh,” she said, as if she hadn’t expected that. “How weird is that?”

Chase shook his head. Luckily Gran has a reputation for being slightly unhinged, so he probably didn’t think much of her talking to us. Besides, he had other things to deal with, now that the paramedics came galloping up the stairs, a stretcher dangling between them. They quickly scooped Odelia up, then carried her down the stairs, with some grunts and groans. And as we watched on, she was loaded into the waiting ambulance, Marge and Tex joining them while Chase jumped into his pickup and took off after the ambulance.

“What a morning,” said Alec once they were gone. “What. A. Morning.”

“You can say that again,” I said, even though Alec couldn’t understand.

Chapter 33

Brutus had heard the commotion, but he’d opted not to get involved. He had enough problems of his own to contend with to get mixed up in the ongoing human drama that seemed to be an important part of life at the Pooles. He was sitting in one of his favorite spots in the world: the rosebushes at the back of Odelia’s backyard. It was here that he and Harriet had always used to sit. Here that they’d spent some of the best moments in their love affair, and it was here that Brutus decided to come to cherish those sweet memories.

Also, he’d had three brushes with death already, and wasn’t looking for a fourth.

So no more ponds for him, or high places where all he could do was stumble off and hope there was someone to break his fall. This time he was going to stay in his beloved rosebushes and dream of his beloved Harriet.

And as he dreamed, he thought he could almost hear her voice. He’d closed his eyes and imagined things could go back to the way they were before the incident. And as he thought about Darlene, he suddenly had a sinking feeling.

And then he realized that he was actually sinking. For real.

He opened his eyes and realized the ground was swallowing him up!

He was sinking faster and faster. Nearby, he thought he could hear Harriet shouting, “Brutus!” But that was just his imagination, of course. Why would Harriet be shouting his name like that? Not in anger, as she had for the past two days, but in anguish, almost as if she were watching him sinking deeper and deeper.

And even as the ground kept swallowing him up, he thought that this was probably the way it had to be. Life seemed adamant on casting him into these dangerous situations, so maybe this was the punishment he deserved.

“Brutus!” Harriet shouted.

This time it sounded even closer.

“Hold on! I’m going to try something!”

“Harriet? Is that you?”

But it couldn’t be. She wasn’t talking to him.

“Don’t give up, Brutus!”

“Is that really you?”

The muddy muck he was sinking into was up to his chest now, and he was starting to make attempts to keep on floating. It was hard going, though, as the crud seemed to suck him down like quicksand. Practically his whole body was now caught in the sticky stuff.

“Watch out!” Harriet shouted.

Suddenly he felt something bubbling underneath his butt. And then he was flying, a powerful stream of water propelling him into the air. He flew up and away, and finally landed on the lawn, rain spraying him. Only it wasn’t rain, as there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. But water was still raining down on him. And then he saw what was going on: Harriet had opened the sprinklers, a part of which was installed in the rosebushes. She must have opened them all the way, for they’d propelled him right out of that puddle he was caught in.

He blinked as water soaked him. And then suddenly Harriet rose into his field of vision. She looked at him with such an expression of concern he didn’t mind getting wet.

“Are you all right, snookums?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.

“I’m fine,” he said. “You saved me.”

“I realized something last night, snuggle pooh,” she said softly.

“What’s that?”

“That I love you too much to let this thing between us be over.”

“Oh, Harriet,” he said, a catch in his voice. “I’ve been such a fool. Can you ever forgive me?”

“I talked to Darlene. Last night in the park? She told me the truth. That you were a real gentlecat. And that you were never anywhere near her butt.”

“She said that?”

“Not willingly. I may have mentioned slashing her throat.”

He laughed. “Oh, honey muffin.”

“Oh, love bug.”

“You saved me!”

“That’s something else I realized. Ever since we broke up you keep getting yourself into these dangerous situations. At this rate you’re going to run out of your nine lives.”

“I know. I think I’m at my sixth or my seventh.”

“You need me, buttercup.”

“I do need you.”

“Without me you’re going to fall from a cliff and there won’t be a fat man to cushion your fall.”

“Or I’ll stumble into a duck pond and there won’t be Chase to save me.”

“Or you’ll be swallowed up by a sinkhole and I won’t be there to turn on the sprinklers.”

They gazed softly into each other’s eyes, and gently rubbed noses.

“It’s almost like Jack and Rose on Titanic,” Harriet giggled. “With all this water?”

“Only I have no intention of crawling off that raft,” said Brutus.

“There was plenty of space on that raft for Jack!” Harriet cried.

“Right?”

They were quiet, and as Harriet lay down next to him, they both enjoyed this rare summer shower. And the pleasure of each other’s company.

“A sinkhole,” muttered Brutus. “In the rosebushes? How is that even possible?”

“I know, right?”

They gazed at each other. “I do need you, Harriet.”

“And don’t you ever forget it.”

“I won’t.”

“Oh, sugar puff.”

“Oh, cuppy cake.”

“Oh, love angel.”

“Oh, wuggle bear.”

“Ugh,” a voice softly pronounced nearby.

Brutus recognized it as Dooley’s, and both he and Harriet laughed.

Chapter 34

Alec was so nice to take us to the hospital: Me and Dooley, and a waterlogged Brutus and Harriet, who, for some reason, had turned on the sprinklers in the backyard and had been enjoying a rain shower. At least they’d reconciled, and were suddenly all lovey-dovey again. So much so it was giving me a pain in the butt. Maybe that was the reason they fought in the first place, I suddenly realized: to enjoy that sweet reconciliation afterward.

“Now, I’m going to have to smuggle you into Odelia’s room,” Alec warned. “I don’t think they like it when cats come to visit, so you guys will have to be extra-quiet, all right?”

“All right, Uncle Alec,” we all sang in unison, even though he couldn’t understand.

He smiled. “You guys are the best.”

He’d arrived at the hospital and tucked us in two big, bulky plastic shopping bags. I hate being tucked into bags, but I was willing to make the sacrifice for Odelia’s sake.

“What’s going on with Harriet and Brutus?” I asked Dooley as we bumped up against each other while Uncle Alec carried us into the hospital. The police chief was panting. Hard. Apparently four cats are a lot of weight to carry.

“I think they finally got over the whole Darlene thing,” I said.

“Oh, so Harriet finally believes the perspective story?”

“It’s not a story. There was a matter of perspective. I really believe Brutus’s nose wasn’t anywhere near Darlene’s butt. Though from where I stood it definitely looked like it was.”

“From where I was standing it looked as if his nose was up her tail,” said Dooley, “but then my legs are shorter than yours.”

“See? Brutus was right. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

This reminded me of the murder case Odelia and Chase had successfully solved. Ringo had claimed his master was right next to him when Dany was killed, but was he? Maybe he’d thought he was, but just like with Darlene, it was a matter of perspective.

But then we were set down on the floor, the bag was zipped open, and we hopped out of the bag and found ourselves in a hospital room. At least it smelled like one. Phew.

Uncle Alec picked me up first and deposited me on Odelia’s bed, then did the same with the others. Odelia looked pale but alive, and she smiled weakly at the four of us.

“Hey, there, you guys. What happened, huh?”

“You conked your head on the bed,” I said. “And scared the living crap out of us.”

“I scared the living crap out of myself,” she said.

I suddenly noticed we weren’t alone in the room: Marge, Gran, Tex and Chase were all seated around Odelia’s sickbed. Chase was staring at me intently, and I realized he probably figured this whole talking cats thing was really weird. Like, really, really weird.

“You better don’t talk to Max too much, honey,” said Marge. “You should rest.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” said Odelia, then realized her words could be interpreted as a little macabre, and corrected herself. “I’ll sleep when you guys have left, I mean.”

“The doctor is keeping her overnight,” Marge explained for our sake. “He says she has a slight concussion.”

“Nothing on the MRI, though,” said Gran. “Which is a good thing,” she added.

“Right,” I said.

“I know what an MRI is,” said Dooley. “I watch General Hospital, remember?”

“Of course you do,” said Gran with a laugh.

They all laughed, except Tex and Chase and Alec, who weren’t in on the joke.

“Dooley says he watches General Hospital all the time,” Marge translated for the sake of the others. When Chase stared at her, she realized her mistake, and quickly shut up.

Too late, though, for Chase asked, “What’s going on here?”

Marge said, a little uncertainly, “Oh, nothing. Just messing around. We like to pretend we can talk to our cats. Isn’t that right, Mom?”

“Just a little game we play from time to time,” said Gran. “And of course those little furballs are big talkers and talk right back at us—isn’t that right, Maxie?”

She tickled my ear and I said, “I think you’re in big trouble now, Gran.”

“No, I’m not.”

Chase was frowning, but didn’t say anything.

“So what’s all this about you guys being attacked by the man in the yellow parka?” asked Odelia, a little hoarsely.

“Not now, honey,” said Marge. “You have to rest. In fact we should probably leave so you can get some more sleep.”

“Don’t leave. Just tell me what happened.”

“A flowerpot was thrown at me,” said Tex, his voice quaking with indignation. “Can you imagine? Someone actually tried to kill me with a flowerpot. I’m so upset right now.”

“And I slipped on a roller skate,” said Gran. “And I saw the guy who planted that skate. He was dressed in yellow—clearly the man in the yellow parka is working overtime.”

“And a piece of the pirate ship almost dropped on me,” said Marge.

“I checked the mast. It looks like it’s been tampered with,” said Uncle Alec gravely.

“So it’s obvious, isn’t it?” said Gran. “Someone is targeting this family, and they’re doing everything they can to murder us and make it look like a string of accidents.”

“Remember how they tried to run over Brutus?” Tex reminded the others.

“I don’t know about this, you guys,” said Odelia, her eyelids slowly closing. “It all seems far-fetched to me. Besides,” she added, making an ultimate effort to open her eyes and look at her uncle Alec, “you have the man in the yellow parka locked up, haven’t you?”

“I have,” Alec confirmed.

“So the case is closed. End of story.”

“He’s still out there,” Gran insisted. “And he’s targeting us.”

“Wolf Langdon has a mole on his hand,” said Odelia, her eyes closing again. “Ringo says the man who killed Dany had a mole in the shape of an owl on his hand. Case... closed.”

And so were her eyes. And this time she’d fallen asleep.

“Who is Ringo?” asked Chase in a low voice.

Uncle Alec waved his hand. “Just a witness who’s come forward.”

Chase looked taken aback. “What witness? I don’t know anything about a new witness, and I’m supposed to be in charge of this investigation.”

Alec shrugged. “Ask Odelia.”

Chase looked at Odelia and sighed. “Thank God her cats were home. I can’t imagine her lying there all alone.”

One by one, Odelia’s family members got up and left the room, to allow her some peace and quiet. Knowing them, they’d all stay right there, not leaving her side until she was well enough to return home.

And the same went for me, Dooley, Brutus and Harriet.

Only we had the luxury of being able to sleep at the foot of her bed.

At least until the nurse came in and ushered us off the bed and onto a couch in the corner. “Cats don’t belong in hospitals,” she muttered darkly, but allowed us to stay anyway.

Chapter 35

In the hallway, Gran confronted Chase and her son. “I don’t get it. You people are supposed to protect us. You’re cops, for crying out loud. Your family is being targeted and you do nothing?”

“We’ve arrested the man in the yellow parka,” said Alec, but he blinked under Gran’s intense scrutiny.