Luna the Magickless Fluff

Definitely not how any of us wanted to spend the night before Luna and Merlin’s nuptials.

Yet here we were.

And I would do anything to make sure tomorrow was every bit as blissful as it ought to be.

7

Luna returned a short while later with the first of our suspects. I instantly recognized the torty from the whole feeding fiasco. She’d been the one who had so rudely climbed my body to claim a can of seafood medley. And I still had the claw marks as a memento from that lovely interaction.

I winced now as that same cat hopped up and settled herself on the bathroom counter.

Luna entered a few moments later, and I closed the door firmly behind her. She claimed the top of the toilet tank, meaning she was at a disadvantage, height-wise.

To balance things out a bit, I decided to remain standing as we asked our questions. The extra height would shift the power dynamic in my favor. Hmm, maybe Luna and I would unwittingly end up playing the good cop bad cop dynamic here. It certainly fit our personalities.

My partner in this informal interrogation took a deep steadying breath before making the introductions. “Gracie, this is Tess. She used to live down the street from me when we were just kittens growing up in Nocturna.”

“Hi, Tess,” I said, keeping my face arranged in a neutral expression rather than smiling politely as I would have done under normal circumstances. “Do you know why we asked you to come speak with us tonight?”

“Is there more food?” Tess’s eyes grew wide with greed; her tongue even darted out to lick her upper lip.

“Yes, yes. You were right to do this privately,” she continued as a small droplet of saliva formed on her chin. “We wouldn’t want the others getting jealous, would we?”

I raised a hand to cut Tess off, and she recoiled. “Funny you should mention jealousy, because we suspect that’s the motive for our vandal.”

The torty glanced toward Luna with pleading eyes. “Vandal? What are you talking about? And am I getting more food or not?”

“Not,” Luna said, her features pinching together in sympathy.

I made a spspsp sound to draw the suspect’s attention back to me. “Someone destroyed the wedding garden, and we think that someone might have been you,” I said, slipping into the role of bad cop right on time.

Tess flicked the tip of her tail. “What wedding garden? This is the first I’m hearing of it.”

“Don’t play stupid with me. We brought you in before the others for a reason,” I said, glaring down at her and hoping that Luna suspected Tess, too, rather than having simply selected her at random.

“Look,” Tess said, a low growl underlying her words. “I don’t know what you’re accusing me of, which in itself should tell you I’m innocent. But if it helps, yes, I’ll admit I’m a bit jealous, okay? Did I expect Luna to land a mate before me? Absolutely not. That would have been okay in and of itself, but this huge wedding party? Cats never get that. And now if I have a party when it’s my time, everyone will accuse me of copying Luna. So I just learned about this amazing new thing, but I also know it could never be mine. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?”

“Oh, Tess. I had no idea,” Luna muttered softly.

“Yeah, and why would you? It’s not like you come around the old neighborhood much anymore. And anytime you have, it’s been with Merlin glued to your side. It’s like you forgot about all of us, and then invited us here to gloat. I almost didn’t come, you know?”

“So you admit you’re angry?” I cut in before Luna had a chance to either backtrack or attempt an unwarranted apology.

“Of course, I’m angry. We were close once, but now that Luna has Merlin—” she looked up at me with disgust— “And you, too, I guess. It’s like she doesn’t need us anymore. Doesn’t want us, either.”

Luna jumped onto the counter beside Tess and attempted to rub against her, but the torty jerked back.

“Tess, it isn’t like that. Please understand,” she whispered. “I can’t come to Nocturna on my own because I don’t have my magic anymore. Yes, I love my new life, but I’m also stuck in it.”

A knot of anxiety formed in my stomach. I hated seeing Luna so upset, especially knowing there wasn’t anything I could do about it in the moment. Yes, I could find the cat who’d wrecked our garden, but I couldn’t change how her friends now saw her.

Tess sniffed and shifted her gaze toward the door. “If you wanted to see us, you would have found a way. Now are we done here?” She turned her nose up in the air and walked to the edge of the counter closest to the door.

“Any further questions?” I asked my co-investigator.

“No,” Luna answered with a sigh.

I opened the door so that Tess could get back to the party, which she wasted no time in doing.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that,” I said, leaning forward to run my fingers through Luna’s soft, white fur.

“I deserve it,” she muttered distractedly.

“No,” I insisted. “No, you don’t. You’re a hero. You gave up your magic to save Merlin’s and my lives. Nobody should make you feel bad about that.”

Luna tilted her head to the side. “Do you think Tess is right? Do you think I’m just showing off? Trying to rub my happiness in everyone else’s face?”

“Of course not. A wedding may be this strange, new concept for cats, but it’s something almost every human does at least once in their lives. You live in the human world now, so it’s natural you would adopt some of our customs.”

She sighed again, heavier this time. “I suppose you’re right. Thank you for always being here to make me feel better, Gracie.”

I smiled as she leaned into my touch. “I love you, Luna, and I will always have your back. Now are you ready to bring in our next suspect?”

8

Luna led our next suspect into the bathroom. She was a sleek Russian blue with long legs and a graceful gait. But because there was more than one Russian blue at the party, I wasn’t certain whether this was the one I’d had an earlier interaction with.

“Greetings, human,” she droned, apparently bored with me already.

Yup, this was definitely the same blue who’d approached me after I’d attempted to explain the toilet paper wedding dress game, demanding to know what she would win when the game was over.

“I asked you to call me Gracie,” I said with a stern look and one hand on my hip. “Remember?”

“Oh, was that you?” She shrugged. “Apologies. All you humans look the same to me.”

“This is Sasha Alexandrovna,” Luna said. This time she claimed the higher ground, forcing the blue to settle on the closed toilet seat. “Sasha, Gracie is my friend and Merlin’s familiar. She’s also the only human here.”

Sasha rolled her large emerald eyes. “Fine, fine. Gracie, it is. Now what do the two of you want with me?”

“We’re questioning all the guests to find out who destroyed the wedding arch and surrounding gardens,” I explained, taking a step closer. “Know anything about that?”

“Well, I was just—” Sasha’s eyes widened; she arched her back and let out a terrible hiss. “What is that thing?” she cried.

Luna and I both glanced toward the far wall, where—sure enough—our resident ghost peeked out from the painted wall. Virginia hadn’t phased all the way through, though, so it looked as if the wall had consumed her, leaving only the tips of her fingers and top of her tilted head visible.

“Oh, don’t you have anything better to do?” Luna cried, throwing in an indignant huff for good measure.

Virginia reached her arms through the wall and the rest of her head and neck followed. “Boo!” she said with a wicked grin.

“Eeeeeh! Ka Chortoo!” Sasha shouted, along with a string of other words I didn’t understand. I was pretty sure she was speaking Russian, though.

“It’s fine. That’s just Virginia. She is literally harmless, even though she wishes otherwise,” I tried to explain patiently.

Sasha slowly lowered herself back into a seated position, keeping her eyes trained on Virginia the whole time.

“Why do you have to ruin my fun?” the ghost whined. “Someone was finally afraid of me for a change, and you just couldn’t wait to mess that up for me.”

“You tried to kill me,” I bit out. “Twice.”

Sasha picked her butt up off the toilet seat and swung her poofed-up tail in agitation.

“Gracie is right, dear,” Luna offered her friend with a supportive smile. “She can’t hurt you. Annoy you? Yes. But hurt? Never.”

“Just try to pretend that she isn’t there,” I said with a sigh. “Now you were saying something before? Something about the destroyed garden?” I prompted. We needed to get a move on if we wanted to make sure we had time to question everyone before sunup.

“What’s this I hear?” Virginia floated away from the wall and hovered near the door, her nearly transparent face filled with delight. “Someone destroyed that hideous thing you’ve been building in the backyard? Well, good riddance, I say. Honestly, who would mix wisteria with lilac? That’s just tacky.”

Luna growled a warning, but Virginia just laughed.

“I don’t have to listen to you anymore, doll. You’re just as big of a dud as me now. Aren’t you?”

Rather than arguing back in her own defense, Luna fell quiet. She’d given up her powers to stop Virginia when her former familiar had been corrupted by a dark illusion witch and tried to murder both me and Merlin.

“Ignore her, please,” I said through gritted teeth. “And answer the question.”

Sasha kept her eyes trained on Virginia, unwilling to look away. “Yes, I know something about it,” she confessed.

“Oh, you poor, stupid kitty,” Virginia ground out. “You don’t just admit everything the moment they ask. Otherwise, what’s the point in even messing with them to begin with?”

Sasha tore her eyes away from the ghost and looked up at me. “I didn’t do it, but I do know something about it.”

“Please go on,” I said, when she didn’t offer anything more.

“Fine,” she said with a humph as she rearranged her position on the closed toilet seat. “I was outside when it happened. I overheard someone talking to herself, but I didn’t look to see who it was.”

Her? That narrowed our suspect pool down by two. If the culprit was female, then it definitely hadn’t been Merlin or Mr. Fluffikins. Not that I suspected them, anyway.

“What was she saying?” I asked.

And at the same time, Luna blurted out, “Why were you wandering around outside?”

“I was angry. With her.” Sasha raised one shaky paw and pointed it my way. “It wasn’t fair that you granted more time for the contest. My team worked hard to get it done within the allotted time. If others couldn’t time-manage properly, why should we be punished?”

“But it all turned out okay. Everyone won in the end, including you,” I pointed out.

She flicked her tail and let out a low growl. “Which really means nobody won. Doesn’t it?”

“You still get the prize,” I said, more than a little irritated.

She just rolled her eyes. “Yes, but it will only taste a fraction as good, knowing that others who are far less worthy will be enjoying the same meal.”

“Are you sure you didn’t do it?” I nudged. “Sure seems like you had an axe to grind.”

“I would have done it if I could ever break out of this awful place,” Virginia interjected.

Sasha glanced toward the ghost briefly, then turned back to me with a hard, steely gaze. “Why would I take my anger out on Luna, when it’s you I’m mad at. By the way, don’t be surprised when you look in your bedroom closet next.”

“My what?” I shouted. “What did you do?”

“The next time you want to wear those red heels, maybe you’ll remember that trying to please everyone ends up pleasing no one.” She jumped off the toilet and marched over to the door with her head held high.

Virginia gave me a slow clap as I went over to open the door. “You’re really bad at this whole cop thing,” she said with a laugh. “But it makes for great entertainment.”

“Please go away,” I groaned.

“Not a chance,” she shot back with an enormous grin. “Not a chance.”

9

Virginia phased into the bathroom mirror and stared out at me with ghostly eyes—and a whole lot of amused judgment.

“I think this might be a good time to check in with the guys,” I muttered, trying my best not to get worked up by Virginia’s antics.

Luna hopped onto the counter and tapped the mirror with partially extended claws. “I don’t suppose we can trust you not to cause any trouble while we’re gone?”

Our unwanted roommate let out a wicked laugh. It was a bluff on her part, I knew that, because in her specter state she couldn’t wield magic or even interact with any objects in the physical world. She could, however, upset the swarm of cats in my living room, leading them to cause mass amounts of damage in her stead.

I wasn’t sure she’d thought that far ahead, but I also didn’t want to take any chances. “Are you okay to hang back here and play babysitter while I catch up with the guys?”

Luna nodded. “I have the most experience with her and with our guests. It makes sense for me to stay.” She eyed Virginia warily. “Only, don’t take too long, please, if you don’t mind. You know how she drives me crazy.”

The ghost’s laughter followed me even after I clicked the bathroom door shut behind me. A few cats turned to look my way with idle gazes of curiosity.

“Everything is fine,” I said in a calm, assertive voice. It was supposed to work with dogs, but it failed to impress the crowd of felines. In the end, cats would listen only if what I wanted was something they already planned on doing anyway.

“Is Luna okay?” asked a black-and-white tuxedo with medium-long fur and a bulging belly.

I smiled, taking care not to show my teeth. “She’s fine. Just having a few pre-wedding jitters is all.”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me blankly.

“Oh, it’s all part of the tradition,” I said with a dismissive laugh. “Nothing to be concerned about. In fact, I was just getting ready to go and get that special canned food I promised you all.”

A cheer circled around the room.

“Well, go on then. No point in dilly-dallying,” Tess the torty said, tapping at my ankle with her paw as if she was trying to physically spur me into action. Either she was helping me with my ruse, or she didn’t realize I was misdirecting everyone so I could make a clean break.

One thing was for sure. I wouldn’t buy a single can of food until we caught the culprit, and nobody could change my mind on that particular point.

I hurried out the door, making sure to grab my keys and jingle them around so the cats would buy my cover story. Once outside, I power-walked around the side of the house and found Merlin and Mr. Fluffikins still engaged in their colored water droplet exercise.

“Hey, guys. Any updates?” I asked as I moved to stand beside Fluffikins in the near corner of the yard.

No sooner had I spoken than all the rainbow dewdrops crashed down toward the earth and disappeared from sight.

“Merlin, no!” the black cat cried in apparent agony. If you asked me, he may have been overreacting just a touch.

My Maine Coon did a deep yoga stretch, then shook out his fur coat. “Sorry. I got distracted. I wouldn’t have been able to hold it for much longer anyway.” He actually didn’t look sorry at all. In fact, it looked like he’d been looking for an excuse to call it quits for quite some time now.

“But I was so close to recreating the scene perfectly.” Fluffikins now came as close to whining as I’d ever heard him.

“We weren’t close. We had it. But I’m not sure how much it helps in the long run.” Merlin finished with his stretches and then trotted over to where Fluffikins and I stood.

“She came from here,” he said, then continued forward, placing each of his steps carefully. “And she went this way.”

He arrived where the tattered pile of the arch’s remains sat blowing gently in the breeze.

“She did her thing, and then she ran this way.”

He took off running toward the spot where the magical herb garden had once stood. “We believe she hid here for a while and then took off running this way once the coast was clear.” He finished his big show by darting around the opposite side of the house.

I glanced toward Fluffikins with raised eyebrows.

“Yes, that’s more or less accurate,” he confirmed with a slight nod.

“Merlin keeps saying ‘she.’ Does that mean you narrowed down the list of suspects?”

“Yes, we think so. Once we isolated the culprit’s set of tracks, we were able to compare them to mine and Merlin’s. Neither was a match. They also weren’t human, so you’re off the hook, too.”

Well, that was a relief.

“Have you and Luna learned anything that could help us narrow it down past that?” Merlin asked, returning to Fluffikins and me.

“We also figured out that the vandal was female. An ear witness heard her muttering but didn’t see what was going on. So I guess we took two separate paths to the same conclusion.”

“Interesting,” Mr. Fluffikins said simply.

“Yes, very,” Merlin added, adopting the same stance as the black cat. He was so cute I could have hugged him then, but I knew that would embarrass him in front of his friend.

“So I guess we keep at it then?” I suggested with a sigh.

“We have nothing left to do out here,” Mr. Fluffikins said as Merlin nodded along.

“Yeah, we’re about done here, I’d say,” Merlin agreed.

“We’ll help question the suspects,” Fluffikins decreed with his nose held high in the air and his whiskers twitching against the night sky.

“Actually, we’re already a pretty tight fit in the bathroom, especially now that Virginia has decided to make herself part of the process.”

“Virginia?” Mr. Fluffikins responded to my words but looked to Merlin for the answer. As a human, I seemed to be lesser-than in his eyes—or rather in all our guests’ eyes.

“Our ghost. Long story, don’t ask,” the other cat said. “Is there something else you need us to do, Gracie?”

“Oh, actually there is one thing.” A small smile crept to my face when I realized I could delegate a less than desirable task to the haughty black cat. “Can you use your pink sparkly teleportation powers to get us some more cans of food? I’d really appreciate it. Okay, thanks. Bye!”